As A Survivor

I sat on the sand
As the water
Reached out to the land.
It could only go so far
Before it was pulled away,
Clawing the sand
Around my legs
As it receded.

My eyes,
Transfixed by the horizon
As though they saw beyond
The rigid line.
Seeing farther
Than my body ever ventured.

I was thinking
Of the future.
The near future
When I won't be able
To visit the beach
The chemo rendering me too weak.

I was thinking
Of the sad faces
When I tell my co-workers,
My friends,
My family,
My husband.

I was thinking
Of all the things
I've done,
All the things
I should have done.
I should have gone out
With that Italian guy.
Too late.

As my life
Tumbled out
In front of me,
I realised that I lived
A remarkable life.
I realised that I was
A remarkable woman
And this was not
The way I should die.

As I sat
Watching the end of my world,
I decided
To fight,
To fight as though
My life depended on it.

I stood up,
My backbone
A bit straighter.
I walked,
My stride with purpose.

I was waling into
My new life
As a winner,
As a Survivor.