Friday, August 31, 2012

Him

"I said goodbye to him,"
She said softly,
Her head resting
On my chest,
Her body ever so close
To mine.

Him,
Him was a faceless,
Nameless spectre
That lived on the edge
Of our marriage,
That I only discovered
By chance, haunting
My wife's existence.

When I found out
About him,
I should have left,
I should have fought
With the fervour of
A man who's pride
Had been challenged,
Instead.

Instead, I talked to her,
I asked why
Till the word came automatically,
Till it was tattooed
Into her mind.

Why did she have an affair?
Why did she put our marriage in danger?
Why hurt me?
Why him?
Why now?
Why?

Tears streamed down her face
As answers reluctantly
Left her lips and
Slapped my face,
Punched my stomach
And kicked my groin.

She said she loved me,
She said she was sorry,
She asked for forgiveness,
She asked if we could
Get pass this,
She said she will
Never see him again.

And yet,
She saw him again
To tell him goodbye.
What kind of goodbye?

Was it a quick goodbye?
A goodbye that lasted
The space of several hours?
Was it a goodbye
Over a meal?
Was it a goodbye
After sex?

For some reason,
I couldn't ask those questions,
Instead I laid awake
While she slept,
Her head resting
On her chest,
He body ever so close
To mine.

He was not the first,
Nor was he the fourth,
He was the sixth.
The sixth in ten years.

I saw that number
Everywhere I went,
Everywhere I turned
And now, I was tired
Of being the loving husband,
The compassionate spouse,
The understanding partner.
I was tired.

I slipped out of bed,
Taking care to not wake her.
I packed enough clothes
To last a week,
As well as my toiletry.
I scribbled a note
And placed it on my pillow.

I looked at my sleeping wife
For the last time.
The last time
I will ever saw her sleeping,
The last time
I will ever refer to her
As my wife.

I left wife
The night she told me
That she left her lover.
Life truly is a bitch.


Submitted to dVerse Poets Open Link

12 comments:

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Kimolisa, You have a great command of the language of human relationships. You have a way of telling a whole lifetime in your carefully chosen details. I am always swept up into your words, and so happy to know you - and envious of your abilities. :) Moskowitz

Kimolisa said...

I am very honoured by your words and I feel the exact same about your work

Mary said...

Wow, wow, wow! I agree with what Mosk has said. You brought the husband and wife to life in your poem, told their story, made me feel, made me glad he finally did what he needed to do.....left her! Strong writing all the way through.

Claudia said...

oh dang..that's tough...honest write and raw emotions in this...think at a certain point, it's just not possible to stay a minute longer...

Brian Miller said...

crap...hard reality in this...it is hard afterward to trust you know...it hurts so bad the betrayal and it leaves lingering questions....ugh...i dont know that i could have don it either...

Marbles in My Pocket said...

A sad story, but very well told.

Beachanny said...

Rings true - though in my experience, this story is usually reversed by gender..nevertheless I think the grief is long lasting either way.

Heaven said...

A sad but lovely tale ~ There is only so much we can take and forgive...so for him it was the last straw ~ Enjoyed the visit ~

Mike Sutcliffe (Poetryman) said...

A very deep and sad poem ~ filled with personal regret ~ a great write

john Allen Richter said...

him took a little while to learn.... didn't him? Of course I'm joking. What goes on in a marriage is extremely personal. And beyond that life and philosophy evolves through time. Sex is only sex. Love is the heart. We tend to mix those two up when we're younger, I think. When I was 21 I thought I would be with that particular girlfriend forever, and if she had wanted sex with someone else I probably would have been hurt. But I haven't seen her now in over 30 years.... And now the only thing I think is that I hope she had some really good sex during that 30 year absence because I certainly did! I'm no worse the wear and definitely would not love her less for it now.... Really great write here!

Kimolisa said...

Thanks for the feedback everyone, this poem as inspired by a book I read but in the book the main characters never cheated on their significant others, but their partners cheated on them. I know a lot of people view infidelity from the woman who has been wronged point of view and I thought it would be interesting to have the man who has been wronge tell his side.

Thanks again for your thoughts.

Kirt Ley said...

Emotional turbulence told without melodrama. I like when the emotion is deep inside the words and you have to climb down and in to get it.... and then you are left covered in the funk. Bravo.

 
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