Him

"I said goodbye to him,"
She said softly,
Her head resting
On my chest,
Her body ever so close
To mine.

Him,
Him was a faceless,
Nameless spectre
That lived on the edge
Of our marriage,
That I only discovered
By chance, haunting
My wife's existence.

When I found out
About him,
I should have left,
I should have fought
With the fervour of
A man who's pride
Had been challenged,
Instead.

Instead, I talked to her,
I asked why
Till the word came automatically,
Till it was tattooed
Into her mind.

Why did she have an affair?
Why did she put our marriage in danger?
Why hurt me?
Why him?
Why now?
Why?

Tears streamed down her face
As answers reluctantly
Left her lips and
Slapped my face,
Punched my stomach
And kicked my groin.

She said she loved me,
She said she was sorry,
She asked for forgiveness,
She asked if we could
Get pass this,
She said she will
Never see him again.

And yet,
She saw him again
To tell him goodbye.
What kind of goodbye?

Was it a quick goodbye?
A goodbye that lasted
The space of several hours?
Was it a goodbye
Over a meal?
Was it a goodbye
After sex?

For some reason,
I couldn't ask those questions,
Instead I laid awake
While she slept,
Her head resting
On her chest,
He body ever so close
To mine.

He was not the first,
Nor was he the fourth,
He was the sixth.
The sixth in ten years.

I saw that number
Everywhere I went,
Everywhere I turned
And now, I was tired
Of being the loving husband,
The compassionate spouse,
The understanding partner.
I was tired.

I slipped out of bed,
Taking care to not wake her.
I packed enough clothes
To last a week,
As well as my toiletry.
I scribbled a note
And placed it on my pillow.

I looked at my sleeping wife
For the last time.
The last time
I will ever saw her sleeping,
The last time
I will ever refer to her
As my wife.

I left wife
The night she told me
That she left her lover.
Life truly is a bitch.


Submitted to dVerse Poets Open Link