His Feelings

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It was over
And he was still
On top of me.

The moaning
And grunting
Was over.

He laid perfectly still
As his dick deflated
In me.

He rolled over,
Pulled the condom off
And threw it in to the dustbin.

I went to the bathroom.
I wanted to wash off
His sweat.
I wanted to wash off
My dissatisfaction.

Then what?
I didn't want to stay.
I wanted to return
To my warm bed,
Inhale the sweet vanilla scent
That permeated my room,
But I didn't want to hurt
His feelings.

Then again,
Did I really care about
His feelings?
Did he care about mine?
I don't think he did.

I rinsed off the suds,
Dried off
And put on my clothes
Then went back into the room.

Apart from snoring
Up a storm,
He looked like a
Happy child,
Someone's baby,
Just not mine.

I scribbled a quick note.
A quick lie,
And left it on the pillow
Where my head
Would have been.

I was going to hurt
His feelings.
I was not going to answer
His calls.
I was going to disappear from
His life.

He would be confused.
He would wonder
What went wrong,
But I could never
Bring myself to tell him
Why.

I couldn't tell him
That I felt nothing
For him.

I couldn't tell him
That he didn't
Stimulate me,
Mind,
Body,
And soul.

I couldn't tell him
That he was
A lousy lay.

So I hurt
His feelings.