When I Grow Up

When I grow up
I want to be different.
I want to be the
Person people point at
And say, “Wow.”

When I grow up
I want to hold life
By the hair and swing
It around and around
'Til it got dizzy
And puked all my desires.

When I grow up
I want it all to be
Sweetness and light
Edged with a darkness,
So dark it rivaled
Black holes.

When I grow up
I want the sun
To shine unto my face
And the breeze to
Lick the sweat from
My brow.

When I grow up
I want it all
To make sense,
That I would understand
Why people claimed
Their sadness.

From the outside,
I appear to have
Grown up, but
It isn't what
I thought it
Would be.

Somehow, I get
The feeling that
Someone is lying,
Is it me or
Is it society?

Somehow, in the depths
Of me, I believe
That the truth is
Buried under the many
Layers of crud placed
Lovingly around me
By those who
“Know better.”

So I believe
I am still growing,
A plant buried
In a seed
Buried in the earth.
And when I grow
Up, I will make
Life puke all
My desires.