Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Words on Screen - Evolution

When I was a teen, I used to watch a lot of the Pokemon cartoon and one of the fascinating aspects of the show was the evolution of the pocket monsters. They would change from cute, little creatures to fierce, battle creatures. The funny thing is I never thought I, as a person, could evolve.

I thought evolution was something that took place over a large period of time, hundreds, thousands of years. Growing up, I thought my future was pretty simple - go to college, get a job, work until retirement. Not a bad plan to be honest, but it was not a plan I chose, it was a plan I thought would happen to me. And that is why that plan failed.

For one, it wasn't my plan and it wasn't for me as a person. So ten, fifteen, twenty years later, I am a completely different person. In fact, I am a completely different person from the person I was two or five years ago.

To a degree, I feel bad that I had not pursued my writing earlier. I have been writing poetry for about 20 years and only within the last five years that I've taken it seriously. When I took it seriously, I began to evolve, I started to write poems that were stories. Then stories began to flow and it was right.

I actually studied Fashion Design at one of the top fashion colleges in the US, the Fashion Institute of Technology. Every now and then, I would feel out of place, it just didn't feel right. I felt like an imposter, I had to work extra hard to just be relatively good. I was not impressed or inspired by my work, I didn't feel it was something I could grow in. Sure, if I was allowed to continue to work and live in the States, I would have continued to work in the apparel industry, but there are no guarantees I would have been happy on a cellular level.

I don't get the same buzz for completing an illustration or designing a garment that I would get when I complete a piece of poetry like "Lost In The Smoke" or while I write my Babylon story. When I looked to my future in fashion, I saw a dead end, but when I look to my future as a writer I am set on fire. It also doesn't hurt that books are not seasonal and depend heavily on trends.

What I also discovered is that when it comes to when I write I don't look to others to tell me that what I wrote is good. I feel it is good. Sure, it might not be great but it feels like I'm on the right track.

Okay, I'm rambling so I'm going to stop. Continue to have a great week.

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