Monday, February 25, 2013

The Only Man

The fever never broke,
It held for a few days
Before his temperature rose again.

I held him,
I never thought
I could love him,
This man I met
On my wedding day,
And yet here I was
Holding him, willing the fever
To go away.

The fever never broke,
Instead he broke,
Slipping into the cool waters
Of death never to reemerge.

There were days when
I wanted this,
I prayed for this,
For my husband to
Cease being so that
I may live the life
I wanted to live.

Now I would do anything
To see his smiling face,
To reach across the expanse
Of our bed and find
His solid form fast asleep,
To live happily ever after,

But the fever never broke,
It instead swallowed whole
The only man I loved,
The only man I hated,
The only man who mattered.

Submitted to imaginary garden with real toads and dVerse Poets 


Abin Chakraborty said...

hmmm.those strange twists that life thrusts upon us.kudos!

aprille said...

That is a brave poem to write. Very brave.
Sometines we simply don't know what we want, do we?
Or what is good for us.

Jim said...

Sad thoughts here, Kim. But most of us married have had the first. And one has to go first.

Lightening up, as I was helping Mrs. Jim get our of the house today I said, as I was handing her her watch, would you have willed it to me in case you die before I do?
I would wear it as it is large and looks sort of retro.

Judy Roney said...

Such a powerful piece. The repetion makes it even stronger.

Margaret said...

...I've been married almost 23 years and I can't imagine "wanting him to die". I understand the sentiment in this poem... but find it almost disturbing with that line in it, as she professes to love him.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand that. Especially from an arranged marriage standpoint. Its not the same as wanting to kill them yourself. Its a very real and a very true sentiment. It is also common, I've heard, especially in the growth periods when you feel like strangers to each other.

Kim Nelson said...

I adore this perspective on arranged marriage. Always an American, I have little exposure to the realities of this cultural phenomenon. You guided me to consider another angle. Well done. The repetition, by the way, is a strong and effective device, as used here.

Brian Miller said... have a loved one die....could there be good that came of it...if you were escaping something far is a shock to the senses...but it forces a new perspective on us...

Buddah Moskowitz said...

My goodness, I hope this wasn't autobiographical.. i loved the sheer power of this. I also love how you bring us through the range of emotions that such an arrangement must bring. This is a quietly devastating work.

Grace said...

If this was made from an arranged marriage sort, I can understand the sentiments of wanting to be free ~

I like the refraining lines of the fever never broke...very powerful share ~ Much enjoyed it ~

mrs mediocrity said...

Such a wide range of emotions here... But they feel real, and honest.

Claudia said...

oh heck...this just leaves me speechless..heavy emotions in this..

Nimue said...

This was so touching ..
really heard breaking ..

glittertheair said...

What a powerful poem! So much honesty to this.

dragyonfly said...

Wow. This is a moving and soulful piece. It is difficult to treat such heart wrenching subject matter as fiction, as I have been taught, so I will say that your piece struck a deep chord within me. Anyone who has had a tumultuous marriage knows the fantasy of wanting to be free. Not to mention the artful way you constructed it..The repetition of The fever never broke,
Instead he broke,"
and "The fever never broke,
and it swallowed him whole"
It gave the fever life or power over life. I admire your courage here. thank you.

lucychili said...

achy sad.