Sometimes

Sometimes,
I want to fly away
To points unknown,
To eat things
That would make you wretch:
Monkey Brains,
And slugs,
Bull Testes and the eyeballs
Of sheep.

Sometimes,
I wish I could
Slip into a dimension
Where you would not know me,
Where I could sleep with
Tom, Dick, Harry,
Peter, Jane and Mary
And you would not care.

Sometimes,
I wanted to drink
Till I was drunk,
Smoke a cigar,
Some pot
And get in touch
With my inner drug addict.

But most times,
I settle,
I settle for a buzz
At the local wine bar
And a puff of apple flavoured tobacco
Which I did not inhale.

Most times,
I settle for chicken,
And if I'm daring, sushi,
Eel once,
Octopus a couple times
But most of the time, chicken.

Most times,
I settle for points known,
With the numbers for the hotel,
The taxi drivers,
And the local emergency personnel,
Which you keep
Alongside my itinerary.

Then one day,
I stood on the edge,
Of the plain of my reality
And the precipice of my desires.
The thermals of warm dreams
Enveloped me with the scent
Of Vanilla.

One step and
I would fall into
Every desire,
Every dream,
Every want my little heart
Could cultivate
And then I stepped back.
I settled.