tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2617069594261001276.post7722082004563627343..comments2023-10-02T08:44:14.460-07:00Comments on Kim or Lisa: Martine - Part 2Kimolisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16624029898830661332noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2617069594261001276.post-81245348366021512702012-09-25T06:57:29.912-07:002012-09-25T06:57:29.912-07:00Thanks for the feedback, this is about my third at...Thanks for the feedback, this is about my third attempt at writing stories. I understand where you are coming from in respect to slowing it down. I guess the conversation between Martine and James can be longer and explore how they really feel. Especially on James part.<br /><br />Once again, thanks for your thoughts.Kimolisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16624029898830661332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2617069594261001276.post-57652952082598173922012-09-24T08:01:38.259-07:002012-09-24T08:01:38.259-07:00I like. However, I think you should slow things do...I like. However, I think you should slow things down a bit. You need to show me more. Explore the tension between the two; all the emotions that are sure to erupt. Allow for more dialogue between the couple. Remember, when we are in passionate conversations, then, more so than normal, we jump around. Sentences are not finished; thoughts are spinning constantly; there are points and counterpoints. We may take a deep interest in some small object in our environment; perhaps twirl or tap something when there is a lull. Remember too, the power of space in between character's lines. A long pause or a sustained breath can speak volumes. Slow down and explore. Make a delectable stew. A stew strewn with goodies. Just a thought.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01759199594367838304noreply@blogger.com