Monday, January 21, 2013

Wanting To Love Him

I wanted to love him,
To be able to say,
"I love you,"
Without feeling like a liar.

I wanted to love him
As much as he loved me,
But my heart felt as
Dead and lifeless as
The dark side of the moon.

I wanted to love him,
To feel that warm feeling
Engulf my body, spirit, soul
When he looks at me
Touches me, speaks to me.

I wanted to love him
But I felt nothing for him,
I could not even see him
As a friend.

I wanted to love him
But the longer I stayed
The more I died within,
The more I forgot who I was.

I wanted to love him
But I couldn't and
I found myself distancing myself
From him until all
That held us together
Were threads of communication.

I wanted to love him
But I wanted to snap
The threads and float back
To being the person
I knew I was and
Wanted to be.

Eventually, I did cut
The threads,
Eventually, I drifted back
To my old, lovable self.
Eventually, I stopped
Wanting to love him.

3 comments:

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Beautiful - tragic at first, but ultimately triumphant. Liked the repetition, it gave a great rhythm to the piece.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely love that last line. Works beautifully with the repetition when you get that 'Jack Sparrow' moment. To paraphrase "The problem isn't the problem, the problem is the way you think about the problem..."

Maxie Steer said...

I was hooked with the first stanza, and by the time the ending hit me, the refrain was stuck in my head. Powerful.

 
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